Why Doesn’t She Leave?

I am currently reading many biographical books about and by ex-partners of psychopaths, along with the corresponding reader reviews.

Time and time again, questions are asked: “Why didn’t she leave?” “Why did she allow herself to be humiliated?” “Why is she always a victim?”

I understand these questions well. They are certainly justified.
However, if someone has never been in a codependent relationship, they simply CANNOT judge the situation.

Typical Codependent Behaviors

• Excusing or Justifying His Behavior:
  Codependent individuals often make excuses or justify the harmful actions of their partner, minimizing the impact of the behavior on themselves.
• Wanting to Relieve Him of Burdens:
  They strive to take on or spare their partner from any burdens, often at their own expense.
• Attempting to Control His Behavior:
  There is a tendency to try to manage or control the partner’s actions in an effort to prevent further harm or dysfunction.
• Denying the Reality of His Destructive Psychological Disorder:
  They may refuse to acknowledge the severity and reality of their partner’s psychological issues, choosing instead to see them in a more favorable light.
• Taking Responsibility for the Dependent Partner:
  Codependent individuals often assume responsibility for their partner’s actions, emotions, and well-being, leading to an unhealthy dynamic where their own needs are neglected.
• Recognizing these behaviors can be the first step toward breaking the cycle of codependency and moving towards healthier, more balanced relationships.

Typical Codependent Feelings

• “Without me, everything falls apart”:
  Feeling an overwhelming sense of responsibility, believing that the relationship or situation would collapse without their constant effort and support.
• Difficulty Recognizing Own Needs:
  Struggling to identify and prioritize their own needs and desires, often placing their partner’s needs above their own.
• Emotional Dependence:
  Their emotional state heavily depends on the situation and well-being of the addicted partner, making it difficult to maintain personal stability.
• Feeling Lost and Overwhelmed:
  Experiencing a sense of being stuck or not knowing how to move forward, often feeling overwhelmed by the complexities of the relationship.
• Inability to Enforce Boundaries:
  Finding it challenging to follow through on announced consequences or set boundaries, leading to a cycle of enabling and continued dysfunction.
• Understanding these feelings is crucial for recognizing codependency and working towards healthier emotional boundaries and self-awareness.

(Quelle https://www.studierendenberatung.at/persoenliche-probleme/sucht-und-abhaengigkeit/was-ist-coabhaengigkeit/)

Statistik 2019: 117 Frauen vom Partner oder Ex-Partner getötet

Perhaps one instinctively senses that a breakup could end in disaster.
Separating from a psychopath can be deadly.

(Quelle: https://www.evangelisch.de/inhalte/178173/10-11-2020/statistik-2019-117-frauen-vom-partner-oder-ex-partner-getoetet)

Every third day, a woman in Germany is murdered by her (ex)partner. This fear is very real. It is especially problematic when there are children involved. And we all know, the police (and the entire justice system) do NOTHING until it’s too late.

When will this finally change?

20% of psychopaths are women. However, female psychopaths fight differently. I want to emphasize this once again.