One of my friends is a young woman who is self-employed in the fashion industry and has two children. Her husband is a highly respected lawyer with a doctorate and a noble title. However, their seemingly picture-perfect marriage fell apart due to his alcoholism. She could no longer bear it when he staggered drunkenly up the stairs of their elegant old apartment and left a mess of whatever he had recently consumed in the entrance.
Eventually, her patience and compassion for her husband ran out. It also became impossible to explain the difficult situation to their children and protect them from it. She left their luxurious apartment in the city center with her children and moved into a small two-room apartment on the outskirts of town, where the hallway often smelled of cabbage.
Shortly after, she was bombarded with lawsuits and criminal charges. I will spare you the details. Eventually, she could no longer afford the expensive legal fees and applied for legal aid, which was granted for one case. Soon after, her ex-husband accused her of fraudulently obtaining legal aid, citing valuable jewelry he had given her, a costly painting by a well-known artist she allegedly took from his apartment, and other such claims.
A trial at the criminal court swiftly followed. The judge indignantly scolded her for daring to burden the social welfare system so brazenly, given that she supposedly always lived on the sunny side of life. The young prosecutor repeatedly echoed this alleged fact. My friend accepted the punishment; another trial would have been unaffordable.
The strong man is stronger without violence.
Bertolt Brecht
The madness began anew.
My friend could barely sleep anymore. Her fashion boutique was failing—eventually, she could no longer endure spending eight hours a day smiling and handing colorful dresses over the counter. Eventually, only tears flowed.
She had to close the store and slipped into personal bankruptcy. Gathering all her courage, she sought out her ex-husband. She cried, she pleaded, she got angry. He laughed at her. At some point, she grabbed a bottle and threw it against the wall. The red wine left horrible red stains on the wall and floor.
Shortly thereafter, the child welfare office took her children away. Her ex-husband, having recorded their argument on his phone, was able to prove that his ex-wife was hysterical, mentally ill, and unstable. From the little money she had left, she had to pay the minimum amount of child support to her ex-husband. He convincingly claimed in court that he lived on 1,000 euros a month—he simply accounted for his 10 employed lawyers and his large law firm as high investments, making him appear poor. No one questioned it.
She could prove that the children later had to watch porn with their father. A corresponding report to the child welfare office went nowhere. His ex-wife only wanted revenge, the doctoral lawyer and ex-husband convincingly assured.
We all wrinkle our noses when we hear about violence in Muslim families. Isn’t it high time we look at our own issues?
In cases of psychological divorces of this kind, involving court psychologists could prevent much harm. Why don’t we do this?
Out of love for you, I sacrificed myself. It would have been better if I had sacrificed you out of love for myself.
Unknown
#survivor of a psychopath
